4mm Jan's 4mm WB: Hello, Old Friend

[Lyndhurstman]

Hello Dear Reader/Insomniac,

Welcome to my virtual workbench. Please wipe your feet. Would you like a cup of tea?

You are cordially invited to:

1. leave now with your sanity intact
2. stick around and partake in the joyous expose of ignorance, ham-fistedness and crap puns that make up the sanctified remnants of my existence beyond the padded walls of my daily battles with emails, teleconferences and an seemingly increasing number of rubbish drivers I encounter on my commute into Britain's Ocean City (in truth, a dreich, car-swamped collection of villages stiched together by traffic lights and roundabouts).

Within these pixelated perimeters, I hope to provide some bucolic blather (you've had some already; don't say you weren't warned) some of it researched, some of it precariously hanging by its fingernails over the precipice of my all-consuming ignorance - into my dubious decades-long dalliance with a small corner of what-might-have-been late-50's East London waterside, focused roughly on the area around the Limehouse Basin and the northward sluice of Regents Canal, and served by (in brick terms only) the heightened experience of the old London & Blackwall Railway (sing glory to its name).

The centre of this minimum opus (© Iain Rice - all of this is his fault really..) is the alliterative accommodation for weary wagonry that is the Watkins Wharf Wagon Works; a black hole of missing delivery dates, strong language and prize vegetables (some of whom are capable of tending allotments) that serves as hospital-cum-dumping ground, catering to the sick and weary purveyors of all manner of goods transhipped along the strained sinews of this rubble-filled corner of the post-war rail network, and most final of rites upon the sad, neglected remnants of the nationalised stock that had served so well throughout the Second World War.

Most of this waffling will take initially take the form of small pictorial representations of things that the WWWW takes on. In recent times - thanks to their 'go ahead' MD, Ernest Bay, they have been successful in acquiring a number of discarded and unrequired vans and open wagons, and - just recently - have also been selected to manufacture a small run of wagons for BR themselves (although, strangely, the majority of these come in the form of a kit that is delivered from Kircaldy in the far North, and made on site under the manufacturers instruction).

So, as I say, welcome.

 

[Dog Star]

Writing of the finest order and a great introduction to your world .

For the benefit of the FS and Jordan, I wish to put on record that the original post is not related to Basilica Fields (sshh, the layout which must not be mentioned) even though the literary style and humour are worthy of that honour.

I like the wagon especially the ends of the floorboards, in the absence of curb rails, showing under the sides - nicely done .

 

[Lyndhurstman]

Writing of the finest order and a great introduction to your world .

For the benefit of the FS and Jordan, I wish to put on record that the original post is not related to Basilica Fields (sshh, the layout which must not be mentioned) even though the literary style and humour are worthy of that honour.

I like the wagon especially the ends of the floorboards, in the absence of curb rails, showing under the sides - nicely done .

Hello Dog Star,

Many thanks for your kind words. And thank you for adding the clarifications in regard of better fettling than is represented here. For truth, the workers of Watkins Wharf - though the be few in numbers (and even less in reading ability) are flattered to even be mistaken for such elevated - a word often heard in proximity to The Fourpenny Rope - demigods such as you name, and especially those as work the dark and dank chasms around Bishopsgate, where the wailing and clanking is not all the work of the ghosts of The Plague.

Regarding the wagon identified in our previous entry, the origins of the flaunting of her basal foundations lie squarely at the feet of her original manufactory organisation. The WWWW can claim no credit for this aspect of her deportment. This feature came fixed from Ayr. We can lay claim to introducing her to the shallow rims she will roll along on, and refining her door bangers from the vertical indifference to something more curvaceous - it took our mudlarks some canny slicing and careful tweaking to induce them out from under - but my close inspection now winces at the daylight permitted by the excessive wear in her break blocks. Truth be told, we have little more time on the card for her, save the whitening of her break lever handle, and the addition of rivets to the internal faces of her boards (for, standing before you she may look like she will permit entry, and be graced by goods, but if she is to be loaded, there is no door to see on the inside, and it will have to be done by yard crane!).

Again Sir,

Our grateful thanks for your interest

Peace to you and yours

Jan

 

[adrian]

(© Iain Rice - all of this is his fault really..)

He's got a lot to answer for that bloke!!! As it happens I'm just watching him on BBC4 "The joy of Trains" as I'm posting.

I love the narrative it paints an evocative scene - many thanks.

 

[TimC]

Hello Mate! Good to WWWW getting some air.

 

[Lyndhurstman]

He's got a lot to answer for that bloke!!! As it happens I'm just watching him on BBC4 "The joy of Trains" as I'm posting.

I love the narrative it paints an evocative scene - many thanks.

Hello Adrian,

One sugar or two? Beryl will be around with the trolley will be around in a minute.. We only have Woolworths biscuits at present.

Thanks for you kind words. I must say - and TimC will no doubt support this observation - that - for me, at least - Mr Rice's artistry and regionally-biased output have long had a major influence in the operations under the smoke-tinged yellow walls of this establishment. If the quality of our output is even one-hundreth of his, we will permit ourelves a small candecsence of pride.

In grateful appreciation

Jan Jackson

Workshop Manager, Watkins Wharf Wagon Works.

 

[jonte]

Hi Jan, you alliterative alchemist (Weak e.g. Of my own their - apologies), it's about time you joined the ranks of all the other 'proper' modellers on here and gave your craftsmanship a worthy airing.

I shall not only look on in awe at your masterful examples of railway modelling, but - like Dog Star and Adrian - enjoy your sharp wit and waxing of the lyric (although most of it goes over my vacuous swede ).

BTW, make mine a Peak Frean (thought I'd thrown in a weak e.g. Of assonance along with a dash of nostalja, or is is it noshtaljuh (?) erm....how things used to be!).

Nothing like gate-crashing a party!

Pop back soon,

jonte

 

[Lyndhurstman]

Good Evening,

Before they crack the lid of the tin and commit brush to stencil, I thought I'd give you an insight into how muddled we can get.

We are just in last knockings of a refurbishment of one of the afore-mentioned vans. It came in rough, with its wheels well tight to gauge, and more patchwork than paintwork. We know it is L&NE 12T Fruit Van - it's fitted for vacuum with those long but bent pipes and has 'FRUIT' on a cast plate on the door, and when it arrived, it had 'Jackie Milburn is God' chalked on the inside of the sliding door - but it has wooden ends with louvres in the lower half of the end, and yet a steel chassis.

Now, our chippy - who is cherished as a boon by the newcomers in The Boardroom for his knowledge of the LNER Wagon Diagram Book (although he thinks the LMS is 'sinister' and 'The Work of The Devil' because it goes up the left side of England, but he's a whizz with chisels, so we let him rumble on and feed him Truman's Eagle if he gets too vigourous) - believes the van to correspond to a L&NE Diagram 152. If this is so, thanks to reference to Mr Tatlow's early work (for information, we're have a collection on the floor for Mr Tatlow's Volume covering these vans, as The Boardroom won't sanction the purchase as Reference Material) it should be numbered as E222519. Yet The Office (who some on the floor regard as dumb buffers - I think that's what they said) are saying it should be E255119; because on their paperwork its a Diagram 94.

Now, Chippy is adamant its a 152, and getting in a strop because "94's sit on wood, not steel" and The Office are not budging. The Paint Shop are happy to wait, of course - there's always something to study the form of..), but there's grumbling out on the floor. It wouldn't be so bad, but I've heard that The Office have taken their own advice, bypassed the Paint Shop, and bought some very nice pre-painted numbers that - to my understanding - all suit Diagram 94 (being E253XXX to E256XXX) - with a view to coming in one Saturday afternoon when most of the Works is off watching Millwall, and get the job done themselves. So, before we end up throwing lump hammers at each other, and Chippy starts turning his attention to making coffins for The Office staff, if anyone can help us determine the original L&NE number range of the Diagram 152 vans, I for one would be very grateful.

All the best,

Jan Jackson

Workshop Manager, Watkins Wharf Wagon Works.

 

[Dog Star]

After an exhausting and illuminating time of reading the most recent Wild, Wet & Windy Writings I feel bound to suggest that Beryl-the-Tea is not paying attention to her duties, to whit:-

1/ there appears to be no white collar / blue collar demarcation for the luxuries to accompany the tea (ship's biscuits for them downstairs and chocolate digestive for them upstairs... a kind of "Upstairs, Downstairs" saga);

2/ as the central player for Rumour Control the Good Lady is in a prime position to solve the conundrum of what number to apply to the wagon, viz E255119 on the side of the wagon that faces towards the office window and E222519 on the side that escapes officialdom.

So the Office gets its way - or thinks that it does - and the workmen get double pay because the number taker credits them with twice the work done as he books two wagons off-work after (the same) repair.

As for throwing hammers, this rather puts a new light on the Michael Bentine punch line of "one lump or two affendi?"

regards, etc.....

 

[TimC]

......
1/ there appears to be no white collar / blue collar demarcation for the luxuries to accompany the tea (ship's biscuits for them downstairs and chocolate digestive for them upstairs... a kind of "Upstairs, Downstairs" saga);
.....

OMG don't get him started on that........

 

[Lyndhurstman]

After an exhausting and illuminating time of reading the most recent Wild, Wet & Windy Writings I feel bound to suggest that Beryl-the-Tea is not paying attention to her duties, to whit:-

1/ there appears to be no white collar / blue collar demarcation for the luxuries to accompany the tea (ship's biscuits for them downstairs and chocolate digestive for them upstairs... a kind of "Upstairs, Downstairs" saga);

2/ as the central player for Rumour Control the Good Lady is in a prime position to solve the conundrum of what number to apply to the wagon, viz E255119 on the side of the wagon that faces towards the office window and E222519 on the side that escapes officialdom.

So the Office gets its way - or thinks that it does - and the workmen get double pay because the number taker credits them with twice the work done as he books two wagons off-work after (the same) repair.

As for throwing hammers, this rather puts a new light on the Michael Bentine punch line of "one lump or two affendi?"

regards, etc.....

Dear Dog Star (surely you cannot be Sirius?),

Thank you for your latest.

From the outset, may I register my appreciation and offer my grateful thanks to your magnaminity in offering freely a potential solution to our problem with the L&NE van. The only fly in the greasepot is Chippy. I'll have to make sure that his path between the Frame Shop and the Gate is well away from any potential discovery, minimising the shock he will surely feel in a modern wagon being treated in such a way. However, if we can get him to the nearest distraction - The Volunteer Tavern under the viaduct in Mill Place, off the Commercial Road - and distract him with a suitable sluice from Taylor Walker - your plan might work. He's making rainstrips at present; we seem to make a habit of leaving them off. I don't know why; its not as if never rains in England, is it?



I heartily applaud you on identifying the pivotal role that Beryl and her Tannin Trolley have in the Works here. It is the truth that grown men have been rendered speechless by her mighty urns, and turned strange at the mere mention of her buttered baps. As she trundles her trolley across the site, she overhears many a whisper from The Office, titbits she serves readily to those who cluster around the warmth of her dispenser at the appointed hour.

With regard to the confections served in association with the tea, the shop floor are under no illusions that they get a crumby deal in this regard. They are aware that a separate arrangement exists in The Office, but - to their credit - are keeping their own Kunzle. Over in the west end of the yard, the Spring Shop Boys and are probably fomenting something - I've heard them muttering about Nye Bevan and inequality, and What Have I Done To Deserve This? They think Its A Sin, I'm sure. As young Mr Crockford has hinted, I have some sympathy with their view, and am endeavouring to find a way to redress the balance in my own quiet way. Mind you, I daren't tell them that The Boss gets a Paris Bun delivered to his office every morning. That would be trouble!

With my thanks...

 

[AJC]

I don't feel able to contribute directly to the affairs of WWWW, but perhaps these examples of other vehicles passing the office window of our esteemed colleague, Mr Bartlett, might be of some assistance:

E 222418 (the preservationists appear not to have got the wagon painting circular...): http://paulbartlett.zenfolio.com/lnercoveredmerchandise/h37ebf533#h37ebf533

E222599: http://paulbartlett.zenfolio.com/lnercoveredmerchandise/h37ebf533#h3e84b0ec

In other words, vehicle number appears to be correct, diagram number isn't. Score draw.

Adam

 

[jonte]

"What have I, what have I etc. etc.

Oh those melodramatic Spring Shop boys; or perhaps I should say those West End girls, as they are colloquially known by the chaps at the east end of the yard.

Bestest,

jonte

 

[Dog Star]

It has been suggested in a PM, from a most trusted advisor, that this topic needs a Health Warning; roughly, the comment goes something like this, to quote:-

"I shall have go back and read that topic again... slowly... very slowly... and then lie down", end quote.

Be assured that no WTers were harmed when discussing the content of this topic, suffice to say that the "trusted advisor" may well be along after a short rest on the couch at the back of the class.

 

[Kier Hardy]

Hello Jan, and of course the other contributors to this thread.... nice to know The Works is keeping busy.

These tales of the WWWW and its associated goings on near Limehouse have caught my attention slightly, as I used to visit a young lady friend in Shadwell , just a hop and a half away. I've heard it can be a bit of a rough area after dark and best not to stray too far from Commercial Road unless you're with someone to watch your back, correct me if I'm wrong.

I'd love to catch a glimpse of Phyllis or any of the other wagons rolling along on their shallow rims, and maybe one day if I'm lucky, I will. However nothing prepares you for that ghastly moment when one or more of those low profiles ride up, and the resultant clatter knocks a few cobbles around to the tune of profound mumblings! I'm sure this sort of thing is a rarity, with the big chunky ones falling off just as often.

The well known engineer and scientist Professor Graham Oliver Ogle has proved beyond doubt that reducing the gauge by 4 inches, and increasing the flange depth gives far superior running through pointwork and around docksides. Only the other day I was at Canada Street Dock and everything looked to be running so well on the 4ft 4-1/2" gauge system, so it would be interesting to know what the WWWW thought of this silly idea, and whether there were potential business opportunities to be had!

Looking forward as always to the next update.

 

[john lewsey]

What a lovely thread

 

[adrian]

Whilst trying to slake my thirst with a flagon of Hornsey Stout I did have the mis-fortune to be entertained by a sesquipedalian discourse from the eminent Professor Oliver Ogle down at the effervescent watering hole, the Rhetorical Modellers west end bar-room. Although many of the patrons seemed to be an insouciant lot and appeared to show more interest in discussing the contents of Beryl's mighty urns so the Professor's disquisition fortunately remained within the confines of the said watering establishment.

 

[Dog Star]

Where is Jordan? This topic is crying out for a pithy one-liner that offers an interested-yet-aloof viewpoint, has a couple of sentences and is peppered with smilies-in-pain.

 

[Jordan]

It has been suggested in a PM, from a most trusted advisor, that this topic needs a Health Warning; roughly, the comment goes something like this, to quote:-

"I shall have go back and read that topic again... slowly... very slowly... and then lie down", end quote.

Be assured that no WTers were harmed when discussing the content of this topic, suffice to say that the "trusted advisor" may well be along after a short rest on the couch at the back of the class.

Yeah yeah, okay so I'm a little late to this wonderful Thread, there being no indication in the Thread Title of the joyous anarchy inside
Just like certain posts elsewhere, I have no idea what it all means, but it is wonderfully entertaining ....after several readings and a good lie down of course.

May I be so bold as to raise some points of order?
1. Where do we wipe our feet, and on what? And do we need to wipe our boots, as well?

2. If the biscuits were from Woolworth's, how long ago did the Sell By date expire?? Which Century would be a start....

3. "Pithy one-liner"..??? Is there a spelling mistake in there somewhere? & I've only had one pint so far anyway while writing this but I'm not sure it's been enough...

 

[Dog Star]

I've only had one pint so far anyway while writing this but I'm not sure it's been enough...

Wonderful. thanks Jordan, made me laugh. You deserve a strong cuppa at the Midway next time I am up that way... or maybe you shall accept a pint at Telford next year.